One of the common grouses I hear, hindering people from going into a particular challenge is that they believe they don’t have the “X-factor” to excel in it. Usually, it’s after one or two failed attempts in that same domain. Or something so new that they didn’t know what to expect. They’ll say things like “Nah, I’ve tried before and I know I suck”, “I’m just not cut out for that” or “I can never be as good as him” and abandon the whole idea just to save themselves the embarassment. Even when it’s something that’ll definitely expand their lives if they’ll just give it a(nother) try.

I admit I’m not spared of this too. Besides judging myself previously for lacking the talent in sales, I used to think I was a lousy dancer… hehehe. I was a member of the high school choir and during one of our overseas concerts, I was handpicked to take part in an all girls performance item. We had to sing and dance a little at the same time. A few of us - myself included - were so “stiff” that we had to be given remedial lessons in our female instructor’s hotel room every other night before the concert! Yes, we were that bad!

Hardly anyone would comment I’m a bad dancer now whenever my friends and I go clubbing. In case you’re wondering, nope, I didn’t take any dancing lessons. I just changed my thinking. In fact, when I look at it, it’s probably the same process of thoughts that lead me to my sales success. Here’s how :
(1) Expect the Frustration

Trust me, when you’re being challenged with some role or work you’ve previously labeled yourself as having no talent for, the first thing to do is just to expect the frustration. It’ll inevitably bring back the nasty memories of how everyone jeered at you when you were on the stage not knowing what to say, for instance. Your ego is likely to convey that underlying message that you shouldn’t speak in public anymore just to avoid the pain of getting hurt or disappointed again.

Well, don’t beat yourself up over it. Be aware that this is your subsconscious’ way of protecting you. But despite the good intentions, choosing to run away from it is literally putting yourself on dystrophy mode. You’ll never be able to do well in public speaking not because it’s true you lacked the talent but rather because you’ve decided not to give yourself a second shot at it anymore!
(2) Make a Decision & Watch Your Focus Shift

In most of my cases, I realize my frustration and anxiety is at its worse when I’m split on a decision. Whether to take up the challenge or say “no”. The former requires some guts but whenever I do so, the negative energy caused by my frustration soon turned into proactive forces. I’ll start brainstorming ways to alleviate the situation. Such as putting in more effort to practice or research the skill I need to develop.

Strangely at the same time, I’ll find comfort within myself. For example, even though I was worried about affecting the necktie sales, I eventually told myself that my assistance was actually to help my brother-in-law resolve an urgent resource issue, which was far more pressing than a slight drop in Sales.

I find myself focusing on another aspect of the whole situation so much so that it takes the pressure off the results. Think of it this way. Assuming you’ve just taken an examination and the score for a pass is 50 marks. You got 45. If your focus is on passing, I’m sure you’ll feel terrible. But what if your plan is to do better than your previous grade, which was 20 marks? You’ll have achieved 125% improvement, way above what you’ve intended!
(3) Observe > Practice > Review > Practice

When the focus is shifted and the stress to perform is greatly reduced, you’ll gradually build up that self belief that it’s probably not going to be that tough after all. By following up this school of thought with the 4 action steps of observe, practice, review and practice, trust me, you’ll be able to hone the skill that you thought you didn’t have the talent for. Just like what I did to be better in dancing.

After my high school saga, I never really had a chance to dance again. Until my University hostel committee organized a party at a club where we were all invited to the dance floor after the dinner. I was initially reluctant to join them - mainly because I don’t want to embarrass myself - but when everyone at our table popped down to the dance floor, a friend just dragged me by the arm. I didn’t have time to say “no”.

Under the music and shimmering lights, I suddenly realized that everyone was so busy having fun that no one would notice my obscure dance moves! I began to shift my focus. Instead of being conscious about my dance steps, I just concentrate on swaying my body with the music.

And as I did so, I started taking note of how others danced, played copycat a little, review the response from my friend on my moves - well, she didn’t say anything bad - and quickly continued with it. At the end of the day, I was having so much fun that for the first time ever, I felt that dancing wasn’t totally beyond me! As much as I thought it was.
(4) Have Fun In The Process!

Once everything becomes almost second nature to you through your observation, practice, review and continuous practice, what determines if you’ll ever do well in that domain really depends on how much fun you’re beginning to derive from it. Nowadays, I’m usually the one initiating for a chillout at the clubs, occasionally receiving a bonus compliment that I dance quite naturally. And yes, none believed that I used to be so bad in dancing that I had to have remedial lessons.

Do you now enjoy the attention of speaking on the stage? Are you gradually opening up to the idea of breaking ceilings of sales one after another? Will you like to go dancing to the tune of the music and sweating it out again? When you derive a lot of fun and satisfaction from that something didn’t know you could do well it, it will eventually develop an impetus for you to know more, learn more and practice more. That, in turn avalanches your achievement as you become skilled in it.

Though I still face a lot of insecurities in reattempting stuff I used to do badly in - things that I totally felt I wasn’t born with the gift for - such little successes over the years have helped to mitigate that frustration and fear. I know there’s still a chance for me to do well in it.
  
對(duì)于阻礙人們直面挑戰(zhàn)的緣由，一個(gè)最常聽到的抱怨就是他們自以為不具備戰(zhàn)勝挑戰(zhàn)的“X-因子”。通常，這種結(jié)論要么是在經(jīng)歷過類似的事情上的失敗后得出的要么就是面對(duì)一種全新的事物而使他們無從期待。他們會(huì)想“不，我可不再干了，我以前已經(jīng)試過，不是失敗了嗎？”，“我不是那塊料”或者“我永遠(yuǎn)不可能像他那么優(yōu)秀”，所以他們就選擇放棄來避免失敗的尷尬，哪怕是那些只要他們?cè)倥�力一次就�?huì)對(duì)他們的生命產(chǎn)生重大意義的事情。

我承認(rèn)我也是這些抱怨者中的一員。除了以前把判定自己在銷售方面沒有天賦之外，我曾經(jīng)還常常認(rèn)定自己是一個(gè)差勁的舞者。。。呵呵。在高中的時(shí)候，我是學(xué)校唱詩班中的一員。在一次海外音樂會(huì)的時(shí)候，我還選去參加全體女子表演項(xiàng)目。我們要同時(shí)唱一小段歌，跳一小段舞。我們中的一些人（包括我自己）很僵硬，以至于在音樂會(huì)前，每隔一晚上我們都要去我們的女指導(dǎo)員的酒店房間里接受矯正訓(xùn)練！是的，我們那時(shí)就是那么差勁。

現(xiàn)在我和朋友去泡吧的時(shí)候，幾乎沒人說我是一個(gè)差勁的舞者了�；蛟S你還會(huì)認(rèn)為我沒有參加過任何舞蹈培訓(xùn)班。我只是換了一種思維。實(shí)際上，當(dāng)我自己看這件事，我想這種思維可能也會(huì)讓我在銷售領(lǐng)域取得成功。方式如下：

(1) 做最壞的打算

相信我，當(dāng)你面臨一些你已經(jīng)給自己貼了“無此項(xiàng)天賦”標(biāo)簽的角色或工作的挑戰(zhàn)時(shí)，你只要首先做好最壞的打算就可以了。比如，你會(huì)不可避免的回憶起在你不知所措的時(shí)候，別人對(duì)你的嘲笑。你的內(nèi)心可能會(huì)有一個(gè)聲音阻止你再在公開場(chǎng)合演講以避免被傷害或失望的痛苦。

不要為此自責(zé)。這是你潛意識(shí)里自我保護(hù)的表現(xiàn)。但是除去這些好的意愿，你選擇逃避才是真正使你心情不好的原因。你再也不能在公眾場(chǎng)合演講了，不是因?yàn)槟銢]有天賦，而是因?yàn)槟悴豢显俳o自己一次機(jī)會(huì)。

(2) 做出決定 & 慎重考慮注意力的轉(zhuǎn)移

在我大多數(shù)經(jīng)歷中，我發(fā)現(xiàn)在我取消一個(gè)決定時(shí)，我的沮喪和憂慮會(huì)達(dá)到最糟糕的程度。要么選擇面對(duì)挑戰(zhàn)，要么選擇逃避。選擇前者需要一些勇氣�？墒敲看挝疫x擇直面挑戰(zhàn)時(shí)，由于的沮喪而產(chǎn)生的消極能量就會(huì)迅速變成積極的力量。于是我就開始以頭腦風(fēng)暴的方式去是我面臨的處境好轉(zhuǎn)。比如花更多的精力去實(shí)踐，或者研究我需要的技術(shù)。同時(shí)也很奇怪，我會(huì)對(duì)自己的行為處境感到舒適。比如說，盡管我很擔(dān)心領(lǐng)帶銷量被影響,我還是會(huì)告訴自己，我的助手去幫助姐夫解決一個(gè)緊急的原料問題，和銷售量下降比起來，那可重要多了。

我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己對(duì)整個(gè)情況的另外一方面如此專注，以至于清楚了結(jié)果帶給我的壓力。不妨這樣想想，設(shè)想你只是在參加一場(chǎng)比賽，及格分?jǐn)?shù)是50分。你的了45分。如果你的注意力集中在 “及格”上，我敢肯定你的心情會(huì)很糟。但是如果你的目標(biāo)是超越自己上一次的分?jǐn)?shù)—20分，感覺又會(huì)如何？你會(huì)覺得自己有了125%的提高，已經(jīng)超過了你自己的預(yù)期！

(3) 觀察 > 實(shí)踐 >揣摩 >再實(shí)踐

當(dāng)你轉(zhuǎn)移注意力之后，壓力就會(huì)大大地減小。你會(huì)逐漸建立起自我信念，會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)可能建立自信根本就沒那么難。按照這個(gè)思維訓(xùn)練的4步曲：觀察，實(shí)踐，揣摩，再實(shí)踐，相信我，你一定會(huì)練就你原本以為自己所沒有的天賦，就像我為提高自己舞蹈技能時(shí)所做的那樣去做。

在高中的傳奇之后，我再也沒有真正擁有過跳舞的機(jī)會(huì)了。直到我讀大學(xué)，學(xué)校青年招待所委員會(huì)在一個(gè)俱樂部里組織了一個(gè)聚會(huì)。晚餐后，我們都應(yīng)邀去了那個(gè)俱樂部的舞廳。一開始，我真不愿意加入-----主要是因?yàn)槲也幌胱屪约簩擂�。但是�?dāng)我們桌的人都涌入舞廳時(shí)，一個(gè)朋友抓住我的手臂，我來不及說“不”就被他拽入了舞池。

在音樂聲和閃爍的燈光之下，我突然意識(shí)到大家都忙著享受這歡快的時(shí)刻，根本就不會(huì)有人注意到我不雅的舞姿！我開始轉(zhuǎn)移我的注意力。我不再緊盯著自己的舞步，而是隨著音樂扭動(dòng)著自己的身體。

當(dāng)我隨著音樂舞動(dòng)的時(shí)候，我開始注意別人的舞步，開始模仿，開始觀察朋友對(duì)我的舞姿的反應(yīng)------其實(shí)，她對(duì)我沒有任何不好評(píng)價(jià)------我又迅速地繼續(xù)這樣的改進(jìn)方式。最后，我在那天感覺到了前所未有的快樂！我覺得那天的舞蹈是自己的一個(gè)真實(shí)水平，和我想的差不多。

(4) 享受過程!

通過你的觀察，實(shí)踐，揣摩，和繼續(xù)實(shí)踐，一旦一切都成為你的第二天性的時(shí)候，你在這個(gè)領(lǐng)域做什么樣的決定就真的要取決于你開始從中得到多少樂趣了。如今，我常常是俱樂部里第一個(gè)需要“冷卻”的人類，時(shí)不時(shí)還能得到夸獎(jiǎng)?wù)f我的舞跳得自然。自然，沒人相信我曾經(jīng)舞技爛到要上矯正課的地步。

你現(xiàn)在享受在舞臺(tái)上說話所得到的關(guān)注了嗎？你逐漸形成了突破銷售量層層困難的想法了嗎？你愿意再次隨著音樂舞到大汗淋漓嗎？當(dāng)你從自己不確信能做的事情中獲得巨大喜悅和滿足感時(shí)，那次經(jīng)歷就會(huì)成為你去做更多了解，更多鍛煉的動(dòng)力。那也會(huì)隨著你技能的嫻熟而打破你曾經(jīng)的成績。

盡管我現(xiàn)在對(duì)重新嘗試我曾經(jīng)失敗的那些事情-------我覺得自己天生就不是那塊料的事情心存疑慮，這些年所取得的一些小的成功已經(jīng)幫我減輕了那種沮喪和恐懼。我知道我還有機(jī)會(huì)去做好它。