1.A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately. 

    The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married." 

    "Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day. 

    不能讓他跑了 

    一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹，便要娶她為妻。她注意到他走路是直著走，而不是橫著走。哇！她想，這只雄蟹可真特別，我可不能讓他跑了。因此他們立刻結婚了。 

    第二天，她又發(fā)現(xiàn)她的新郎像其他蟹一樣橫著走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了？”她問，“我們結婚前你可是直著走路的。” 

    “哦，寶貝，”他回答說，“我不可能每天都喝那么多。” 

    2.When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting." 

    As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty 

    讓人無奈的孩子 

    我五歲的兒子和他的表弟在一起的時候，總要招來大亂。一個星期六，我開始抗議了。“好啦，你們兩個，”我嚴厲地說，“不許叫喊，不許亂拿，不許哭鬧，不許亂敲，不許取笑，不許扯淡，不許弄壞玩具，不許亂抓，不許打架。” 

    我剛轉身要走，就聽我兒子說：“來，斯蒂文，我們來把自己弄臟吧。” 

    3.Wilberforce stood for Parliament on one occasion， and hissister helped him with his election campaign． The Bribery andCorruption Acts had not been framed in those days ; consequently， the sister offered to give a new dress to the wife of every man who voted for her brother． This offer pleased the voters immensely， and at one meeting there went up a cry of“Miss Wilberforce for ever！”The lady in question rosequickly from her chair on the platform and said： 

    “Oh，please，don't. I have no wish to be Miss Wilhberforce for ever ．” 

    威爾伯佛斯 

    有一次，威爾伯佛斯做國會議員候選人，他的妹妹幫助 他搞競選運動。那時候，行賄和腐敗法案尚未擬定；因此，這位妹妹提出愿意送一件新衣服給每一個投她哥哥票的男人的妻子。這項提議使選民們極為滿意。在一次集會上，人們高呼：“威爾伯佛斯小姐萬歲！”該女士迅速從講臺上她的坐椅 上站起來，說：

    “噢，請別這么說。我可不想永遠做威爾伯佛斯小姐。”