Some work friends and I were recently discussing things that men can not criticize their girlfriends about. It was astounding how incorrect us guys were when trying to lay out our "rights" in terms of constructive criticism. The women in the office were appalled at what we thought we were allowed to talk about. If I could figure out what I am allowed to criticize and what I should stay away from, I'd avoid arguments and do a better job of hitting on girls.

    I'm guilty of saying things to women that only their best girlfriends, gay male friends, and moms/sisters are allowed to say. I put together a list below:

    Weight

    There is no friendly way for a guy to tell a girl that she's put on weight. Even if there was a friendly way, most of the women I've talked to about it said they would not want to hear it from a guy. It seems obvious, but not all guys know this. We polled some of the guys in our office, and the prevailing male opinion was as long as she's your girlfriend, or you've known each other for a while, then you can make weight loss suggestions. I think the best policy is silence. If I"m desperate to make a suggestion, maybe I tell one of her girlfriends to do it on my behalf.

    Outfit

    I think I'm only allowed to say someone generally looks nice, or I like her shirt or whatever. Getting too detailed or negative gets me in trouble. In fact, I attempted to "add on" to a compliment I gave a girl once. I told her she looked great, because she had a new outfit on. Now, remembering those times I saw my sisters or friends bark back "thanks, and just $30 from Target," I tried to double up on my compliment: "and it looks like you didn't pay much money either." She ended up crying. I've been told by women that they dress more to impress other women anyway, and not guys. Basically, I need to stick to "you look great" and leave it there. And I should probably avoid saying I don't like something a girl is wearing. That can only lead to no good.

    Friends/Family

    We've all dated people with annoying friends. But, people consider their friends as extensions of themselves so if you criticize friends, you're criticizing your significant other indirectly. My older sister has a good system of putting the word "that" in front of any of her husband's friends that annoy her. "Oh you're going with that Mike to the concert?" It's not an aggressive attack, just a little poke. Family is the same rule, but you probably get in even more trouble if you criticize the family of a significant other.

    Driving

    Every guy thinks he's a better driver than his girlfriend. I can learn a lot from my little sister's boyfriend. One day, my sister was driving the two of us to Baltimore for a weekend. My sister is a really bad driver. She doesn't brake when she sees brake lights ahead until she absolutely has to. This leads to passenger whiplash and nausea. During this trip I said: "you know, you can brake earlier- that way you're not slamming on the brakes at the last minute and making us all sick." She said: "do I do that?" I turned around to her boyfriend for confirmation and he simply said: "no comment". My sister's boyfriend loves me because I am allowed to verbalize all the criticisms that he's thinking.

    I like the "no comment" policy. But I can't stand not to give my opinion to women, even when it's bad. I want to learn the things I should hold off from criticizing about women. Do you agree with the items above? What do you hate being criticized about by guys?

    最近，我和一些工作上的朋友在討論男人不能對女人的哪些方面評頭論足的問題。討論的結(jié)果是我們都很驚訝于男人們平時(shí)對女人的評頭論足是多么的不正確。在辦公室里女同事們經(jīng)常被我們自認(rèn)為可以談?wù)摰膬?nèi)容嚇到。要是我知道要避諱什么的話，我就不會和女同事或女朋友發(fā)生口頭上的沖突，而是和她們和諧相處了。

    我對說了只有女性的閨密、同性戀朋友、和母親或姐妹才可以說的話而感到抱歉。以下是我對這些值得道歉的話的一個(gè)總結(jié)：

    體重

    如果你要說一個(gè)女生變胖了，那她一定會被你得罪。即使你用很友好的方式對他們說，她們也不太愿意從一個(gè)男性的口中聽到這樣的話。者看來顯而易見，但有些男性卻看不到這一點(diǎn)。我們調(diào)查過辦公室里的男同事，男性的主流想法是如果對方是你的女朋友或者是熟識的女性，你就可以建議她們保持身材。我認(rèn)為，我們最好還是對此保持沉默。如果我真的很想建議她減肥的話，也許我會請他的女性朋友來代勞。

    裝束

    我覺得我只能說她們看起來很好或者她們穿的襯衣或者類似的東西。如果說的太具體或者有什么負(fù)面的評論會給我?guī)�來麻煩。有一次，我想好好贊揚(yáng)一個(gè)女孩。我說她因?yàn)榇┲�新裙子，所以看起來很棒。那時(shí)，我想起我的姐妹或朋友長回敬我的話："謝謝，30塊錢從Target買的".我想再對那女該贊賞幾句： "看起來這件衣服好像很便宜的樣子。"結(jié)果我把她弄哭了。女同胞們告訴我，女人穿衣服是要給別的女人留下深刻印象，而不是為了男人。一般情況下，我應(yīng)該只說一句："你看起來真棒"然后就好了。而且我還應(yīng)該避免說我不喜歡某個(gè)女生的著裝，因?yàn)槟菢幼鰶]有一點(diǎn)好處。

    朋友/家人

    我們都和有煩人朋友的人約會過。然而，人們認(rèn)為朋友是他們自身的延伸，所以在你批評他朋友的同時(shí)，你變相的批評了你重要的另一半。我姐姐經(jīng)常會在我姐夫朋友中讓她討厭的人前面加一個(gè)"那個(gè)"."噢，你要和那個(gè)麥克去看演唱會？"這句活語氣并沒有很強(qiáng)烈，只是表示小小的不滿。談?wù)摷胰藭r(shí)的道理是一樣的，為了避免大的麻煩，最好不要批評另一半的家人。

    駕駛技巧

    每個(gè)男人都認(rèn)為自己的駕駛技術(shù)比女朋友的要好。就這一點(diǎn)，我從妹妹的男朋友那里學(xué)了很多。一天，妹妹開車載著我和她男朋友去貝爾蒂莫度周末。她的開車技術(shù)確實(shí)很爛。她只有到非剎車不可的時(shí)候才踩下剎車，根本不顧剎車燈的存在。這讓我們備受折磨，腹內(nèi)翻江倒海。路上我就對她說："你能早點(diǎn)踩剎車嗎，那樣我們就不會因急停感到惡心了。"她卻說："我有這樣嗎？"我扭過頭向他男朋友尋求確認(rèn)，他談?wù)劦恼f了一句："不予置評".妹妹的男朋友很喜歡我因?yàn)槲野阉�想說卻不能說的都說啦。

    我很喜歡"不予置評"的策略。但我總是忍不住要給女性提點(diǎn)建議，即使我知道那樣不好。我想知道我應(yīng)該避諱的一些話題。你同意我列出的這些內(nèi)容嗎？你也很討厭被男人評頭論足嗎？