Friending wasn't used as a verb until about five years ago, when social networks such as Friendster, MySpace and Facebook burst onto the scene.

    Suddenly, our friends were something even better - an audience. If blogging felt like shouting into the void, posting updates on a social network felt more like an intimate conversation among friends at a pub.

    Inevitably, as our list of friends grew to encompass acquaintances, friends of friends and the girl who sat behind us in seventh-grade homeroom, online friendships became devalued.

    Suddenly, we knew as much about the lives of our distant acquaintances as we did about the lives of our intimates – what they'd had for dinner, how they felt about Tiger Woods and so on.

    Enter Twitter with a solution: no friends, just followers. These one-way relationships were easier to manage – no more annoying decisions about whether to give your ex-boyfriend access to your photos, no more fussing over who could see your employment and contact information.

    Twitter's updates were also easily searchable on the Web, forcing users to be somewhat thoughtful about their posts. The intimate conversation became a talent show, a challenge to prove your intellectual prowess in 140 characters or less.

    This fall, Twitter turned its popularity into dollars, inking lucrative deals to allow its users tweets to be broadcast via search algorithms on Google and Bing.

    Soon, Facebook followed suit with deals to distribute certain real-time data to Google and Bing. （Recall that despite being the fifth most popular Web site in the world, Facebook is barely profitable.） Facebook spokesman Barry Schnitt says no money changed hands in the deals but says there was "probably an exchange of value."

    Just one catch: Facebook had just "exchanged" to Google and Microsoft something that didn't exist.

    The vast majority of Facebook users restrict updates to their friends, and do not expect those updates to appear in public search results. （In fact, many people restrict their Facebook profile from appearing at all in search results）.

    So Facebook had little content to provide to Google's and Bing's real-time search results. When Google's real-time search launched earlier this month, its results were primarily filled with Twitter updates.

    Coincidentally, Facebook presented its 350 million members with a new default privacy setting last week. For most people, the new suggested settings would open their Facebook updates and information to the entire world. Mr. Schnitt says the new privacy suggestions are an acknowledgement of "the way we think the world is going."

    Facebook Chief Executive Mark Zuckerberg led by example, opening up his previously closed profile, including goofy photos of himself curled up with a teddy bear.

    Facebook also made public formerly private info such as profile pictures, gender, current city and the friends list. （Mr. Schnitt suggests that users are free to lie about their hometown or take down their profile picture to protect their privacy; in response to users complaints, the friends list can now be restricted to be viewed only by friends）.

    Of course, many people will reject the default settings on Facebook and keep on chatting with only their Facebook friends. （Mr. Schnitt said more than 50% of its users had rejected the defaults at last tally）.

    But those who want a private experience on Facebook will have to work harder at it: if you inadvertently post a comment on a friends profile page that has been opened to the public, your comment will be public too.

    Just as Facebook turned friends a commodity, it has likewise gathered our personal data – our updates, our baby photos, our endless chirping birthday notes- and readied it to be bundled and sold.

    So I give up. Rather than fighting to keep my Facebook profile private, I plan to open it up to the public – removing the fiction of intimacy and friendship.

    But I will also remove the vestiges of my private life from Facebook and make sure I never post anything that I wouldn't want my parents, employer, next-door neighbor or future employer to see. You'd be smart to do the same.

    We'll need to treat this increasingly public version of Facebook with the same hard-headedness that we treat Twitter: as a place to broadcast, but not a place for vulnerability. A place to carefully calibrate, sanitize and bowdlerize our words for every possible audience, now and forever. Not a place for intimacy with friends.

    自五年前friendster,myspace和facebook等社交網(wǎng)站出現(xiàn)后，朋友一詞開(kāi)始成為一個(gè)動(dòng)詞

    突然間，朋友成了觀眾。如果說(shuō)寫博客讓人覺(jué)得象是對(duì)著空虛吶喊，那在社交網(wǎng)站中發(fā)言則更象在酒吧里和密友聊天。

    隨著我們的朋友圈子擴(kuò)展到了熟人、朋友的朋友乃至于7年級(jí)指導(dǎo)教室里坐在我們旁邊的女生，網(wǎng)絡(luò)友誼不可避免開(kāi)始貶值。

    突然間，我們對(duì)遠(yuǎn)方朋友的生活就象對(duì)身邊密友一樣熟悉---我們知道他們晚飯吃了些什么，對(duì)于老虎伍茲有何看法等等。

    在Twitter上找到了解決辦法：沒(méi)有朋友，只有跟隨者。這種單向式的關(guān)系更容易打理----不再為是否讓前男友看你的照片而煩惱，也不再為誰(shuí)會(huì)看到你的求職和交往信息而頭痛。

    Twitte上的發(fā)言也更容易在網(wǎng)上搜到，這使用戶要對(duì)自己的言論多加考慮，親密對(duì)話成了才藝展示，成為一種你用140個(gè)或更少的詞匯來(lái)證明自己智力的挑戰(zhàn)。

    今年秋天，Twitter把它的人氣變成了美元，它與Google 和 Bing簽訂了利潤(rùn)豐厚的協(xié)議讓用戶的微博在這兩個(gè)搜索引擎上得到傳播。

    很快，F(xiàn)acebook也步其后塵，將一些實(shí)時(shí)數(shù)據(jù)傳送到Google 和 Bing上。（Facebook盡管是世界上第五大最受歡迎網(wǎng)站，卻難有盈利。）其發(fā)言人人巴里斯奇尼特說(shuō)這場(chǎng)交易中沒(méi)有金錢交易但是"可能有價(jià)值交換。"

    需要明白的是：Facebook和Google 及微軟交換的是一些根本不存在的東西。

    Facebook的大多數(shù)用戶僅允許朋友看到發(fā)言，他們不想出現(xiàn)在公開(kāi)的搜索結(jié)果中。（事實(shí)上，許多人都不會(huì)讓自己在Facebook上的資料出現(xiàn)在搜索結(jié)果中。）

    這樣一來(lái)Facebook出現(xiàn)在Google和Bing實(shí)時(shí)搜索結(jié)果中的內(nèi)容就很少了。當(dāng)谷歌本月初進(jìn)行實(shí)時(shí)搜索時(shí)，其結(jié)果幾乎都是Twitter上的發(fā)言。

    巧的是，F(xiàn)acebook上周向它的3億5千萬(wàn)用戶提供了新的默認(rèn)私密設(shè)置。對(duì)于大多數(shù)人而言，這項(xiàng)新設(shè)置將向全世界公開(kāi)他們?cè)贔acebook上的發(fā)言和訊息。斯奇尼特先生說(shuō)這項(xiàng)新隱私設(shè)置確認(rèn)了"我們認(rèn)為世界運(yùn)轉(zhuǎn)的方式。"

    Facebook執(zhí)行總裁馬克。齊克博格也以身作則，公開(kāi)他以前的私密信息，包括一張他躺在一只泰迪熊身上的搞笑照片。

    Facebook還公開(kāi)了之前的一些私密信息例如形象照片、性別、現(xiàn)處城市以及朋友名單。（斯奇尼特先生說(shuō)用戶可以杜撰自己的家鄉(xiāng)或撤下形象照片來(lái)保護(hù)隱私，在用戶的抱怨下，朋友名單現(xiàn)在也可設(shè)置為僅限好友可見(jiàn)。）

    當(dāng)然，許多人會(huì)拒絕Facebook的默認(rèn)設(shè)置并繼續(xù)只和Facebook上的朋友們聊天。（斯奇尼特先生說(shuō)據(jù)最新統(tǒng)計(jì)，超過(guò)50%的用戶拒絕了默認(rèn)設(shè)置。）

    但想在Facebook上進(jìn)行私人交往的用戶必須更加注意了：如果你不小心在朋友的頁(yè)面上發(fā)表了評(píng)論，而朋友的頁(yè)面又是對(duì)公眾開(kāi)放的，那你的評(píng)論也會(huì)隨之公開(kāi)。

    正如Facebook把朋友變成了商品，它同樣還收集了我們的個(gè)人數(shù)據(jù)---我們的發(fā)言、我們的嬰兒照片、一大堆雜七雜八的生日祝福---并準(zhǔn)備將其打包出售。

    所以我放棄了。我沒(méi)去捍衛(wèi)我的Facebook資料的隱私，而是打算讓它公開(kāi)---前提是我把隱私和友誼的部分給刪掉了。

    而且我還會(huì)刪掉Facebook上我的私人生活內(nèi)容，不留痕跡，確定沒(méi)有留下任何不想讓父母、老板、隔壁鄰居或未來(lái)雇主看到的內(nèi)容，你最好也這么做。

    對(duì)于越來(lái)越公開(kāi)的Facebook,我們需要象對(duì)Twitter那樣頭腦冷靜：將其作為一個(gè)傳播信息而非暴露弱點(diǎn)的場(chǎng)所；一個(gè)現(xiàn)在和以后，對(duì)每一位可能的觀眾都字斟句酌的場(chǎng)所，而不是一個(gè)和朋友親密交往的場(chǎng)所。